91. Pet Loss, Healing Hearts & Building Stronger Bonds with Dogs

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Speaker 1 (00:00):

Pets ad Life, your guide to the latest in Pet Trends products and the joy of the human animal bond with Kristen Levine and Chris Bonafide, powered by the American Pet Products Association and Dog tv. Hello and welcome to another episode of Pets Ad Life. I have missed you all dearly. I am, of course, Chris Bonti, and joining me as always is the woman who holds down the fort with no escort. It is Kristen Levine. Kristen, how are we doing today?

Speaker 2 (00:31):

Oh, I'm doing great. I am so happy you're back. I know we've missed you.

Speaker 1 (00:36):

I've had a mystery mission that I will now reveal.

Speaker 2 (00:40):

Oh, thank goodness. Because everybody's been asking

Speaker 1 (00:44):

And it's sort of a good news, bad news thing. I'm going to start with the bad news. The bad news is that unfortunately we recently lost Tiger, my cat, who if you've been listening to this show, has been a regular reference who never really appeared on camera because she's camera shy, natural causes at home. She was 22. Most people don't get to have their cats until they're 22. So we're truly blessed, obviously still incredibly sad. She was my wife's childhood cat. My wife got her when she was eight years old, so that is a big piece of her childhood that's gone. That said, there's good news too, as my wife and I.

Speaker 2 (01:27):

Yes, very good news.

Speaker 1 (01:28):

Welcomed our son Grayson into the world. No, I did not take two months of bereavement for my cat though. It was very sad. I've been on paternity leave, handling that and waking up in the middle of the night and washing bottles and changing diapers and all that good stuff. I'm training him. Well, I've already got him a little plushy microphone. He's cooing into that thing. We're going to get him all set up with a podcast and career. By the time he's old enough to speak, we're going to set up this college fund through that kind of stuff. There's going to be a link to donate to his college fund at the end of the stream. I guess that's not a thing. I

Speaker 2 (02:07):

Would not be surprised. Well,

Speaker 1 (02:08):

No. They gave me an estimation of how much college is going to cost when he turns 18 and let's just say he's going to be a carpenter. But Chris, I was really

Speaker 2 (02:18):

Hoping we get to meet Grayson on the show. Where is he?

Speaker 1 (02:21):

Grayson is currently at Michael's, the store with his mother because we do, I'm still at home. I'm still working remotely and I am not good enough to do this job with all the distractions. So he's running some errands with mom, but maybe when I move into my new office and he's a little bit older and less destructive. He's just recently learned destructive.

Speaker 2 (02:50):

He doesn't walk yet.

Speaker 1 (02:51):

No, but he's learned what his hands do and he likes to knock things around and over, but it's so adorable. He's the best baby. He's already sleeping so well and eating so well and everybody's happy and healthy. Mom's doing well and all that jazz. But it is good to be back here in Pal Land. I've listened to the show, of course, while I've been on leave and was worried about my job a little bit.

Speaker 2 (03:15):

We had some

Speaker 1 (03:16):

Pretty good, pretty

Speaker 2 (03:17):

Good guest while you were gone.

Speaker 1 (03:19):

You guys had some great content. While I've been gone, the show has been amazing. You had some great guests too. Very jealous that I didn't get to meet them, but we're back to our regularly scheduled program. Two stories, two products, two guests, two questions with Chris and Kristen. The way God intended. This podcast is mandated by God himself. That's right. And it's just great to be back.

Speaker 2 (03:47):

Well, we're thrilled to have you back.

Speaker 1 (03:50):

Kristen and Chris, present story time. All right, and it's time for story time. Kristen, I'm going to put you on the spot. Why don't you go ahead and kick us off.

Speaker 2 (04:03):

Okay. I'm really liking this story and I think when I first saw this story, I'm like, oh, Chris is going to love this one, so hopefully I won't disappoint you.

Speaker 1 (04:13):

Okay,

Speaker 2 (04:13):

Let's see. Okay, now it's getting cooler out and as you know, I used to live in Florida and I'd say November's about when Florida starts to get a little bit of cooler days and nights. So as we head into those cooler nights, a quirky but very real phenomenon is coming back and that is falling iguanas. So there are a lot of iguanas in Florida, particularly in the southern part of the state, and they're cold-blooded reptiles. And what happens is they slow down dramatically when temperatures start to drop below about 50 degrees. And what happens is they lose muscle control and they literally drop from the trees that they're perched in. Now, little science lesson for you here. This condition is called Topor or Topor, T-U-R-P-O-R. And it's just a temporary state where the animal's body temperature, metabolism and heart rate and breathing slow down to conserve energy. And it's sort of like a mini hibernation. And it's not just iguanas, it also happens with bats, hummingbirds, chipmunks and some other amphibians and reptiles. So if you are a Florida dog or cat mom or dad and you are out walking outdoors with your pet on a cold, chilly Florida evening watch for falling iguanas, which content?

Speaker 1 (05:38):

Keep that umbrella handy. I don't know if an umbrella would help, but I like to imagine it would.

Speaker 2 (05:44):

Yeah, it'd have to be a sturdy one though, but

Speaker 1 (05:47):

A very sturdy umbrella or a net, perhaps a net, like a crabbing net. You could just sort of catch 'em out of the air. There we

Speaker 2 (05:57):

Go. I guess that

Speaker 1 (05:58):

It's raining cats and dogs and iguanas.

Speaker 2 (06:01):

Yeah. So what kind of story do you have this week?

Speaker 1 (06:05):

Alright, so I'm over here. I've got my Global Pet Expo logo where on, we're in the heat of show planning right now. Show is almost sold out. We're ramping up for another amazing event, and I love telling my friends and family about my job and stuff. And recently I was down in Myrtle Beach and met a friend of my father-in-law who kind of made a comment about how my job seems easy, and here's a story I found in the news that sort of disproves it. So Global Pet Expo, big show, everybody wants to be us. So they tried to do London Pet Show Live over in the uk. And needless to say, here's the headline, here's how the show went. Police probe London Olympia Pet show fraud as organizer vanishes after Stallholders brand a disaster.

Speaker 2 (07:07):

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (07:09):

So they were trying to bring in, and this is the London Pet Show live at Olympia, and they were trying to bring in 20,000 visitors, which is just about what Global Pet Expo does. And a first time doing a show, even if you have something with broad appeal like pet, you're not going to get 20,000 people. So that's the mistake. People were saying. It was closer to 2000 attendees and the space was largely empty. So 2000 is very small, 2000 because not everybody's on the show floor at the same time. That probably means about 500 people are on the show at a time. So it did not go well.

(07:53):

So this guy, I think Elite Event Lives director Oscar Von Keisel disappeared and ceased all communication, which honestly, sometimes he has got to ostrich your head into the ground. He just crawled into a hole somewhere. He previously pleaded guilty to five offenses of misleading and deceiving advertisers while running a publishing company in 2010. The whole thing is such an abject disaster that I'm no longer stressed about Global Pet Expert because I know it would take a concerted effort for me to create a show that goes that poorly. I would have to try to do that. So even if I just won it the whole time, I still wouldn't do that. But hard go out to all those in London.

Speaker 2 (08:43):

Did you share that story with your father-in-law?

Speaker 1 (08:46):

No, not yet, but I will. And it did make its way around our office. Everybody's like, that's not so easy, is it?

Speaker 2 (08:55):

Yeah,

Speaker 1 (08:55):

Not so easy, is it?

Speaker 2 (08:56):

Well, I have seen firsthand. Well, how hard you work at the show and everybody else is part of it. It's just, it's a solid Well, you're starting, what, two months after the show for the next show or two weeks later? Pretty

Speaker 1 (09:11):

Much a few weeks later. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (09:14):

Yeah, yeah. It's a big deal.

Speaker 1 (09:17):

Well, if you were a exhibitor at the London Pet Show Live, take a shot at Global Pet Expo. I think you'll have better experience there. It won't be worse, that's for sure. Beyond the leash, exploring the untold stories of pet passion and professionalism, it is my pleasure to welcome Renee Talbot, the author of Unleash Your Grief, the Truth About Pet Loss, a heartfelt and healing guide that validates the deep pain of losing a beloved animal companion. After losing her 15-year-old dog, Rudy to Cancer, Renee was moved to write a book that gives grieving pet parents the comfort tools and permission to mourn fully. All proceeds from her book are donated to nonprofit pet financial aid foundations that help owners cover veterinary costs with Unleash Your grief. Renee is on a mission to make one thing clear. Pet loss is real grief, and those who love their animals deserve support, not silence. Renee, thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 3 (10:13):

Oh, thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Speaker 1 (10:16):

And this is ironically, or maybe not, ironically, might not be the right term, the perfect guest to have on early in this episode. I announced that I just recently lost my cat Tiger, who was 22. She was so old. She had a great run. So I definitely understand where you're coming from, but I want to hear a little bit about your story and how losing your experience, losing Rudy sort of led to you writing this incredible book.

Speaker 3 (10:48):

Absolutely. First, let me say, I'm so sorry about Tiger. I know, like you said, I feel your pain. I know how that is. It's very difficult. So I'm going to backpedal a little bit and kind of go to the beginning and give you a little backstory about Rudy, and that will kind of lead up to why I did the book and that sort of thing. So when my son was a young boy, he's an only child and he wanted a dog to grow up with, and of course I wanted that for him too, but I wanted to wait until he was obviously responsible enough. I told him, you need to be able to feed the dog, let the dog out and walk the dog. And he just wasn't at that point yet. But I said, if you'll save up your money and in that process be learning about what you need to do, save your allowance, save any birthday money you get, and we'll go to the shelter at the right time and we'll rescue a dog.

(11:37):

And so it took about a year for him to save up. It was $95 at the time. And so I had proven himself to me that he would be responsible. So one day I said, okay, you ready to go? And he had his little tight little fist full of cash and shoved it down in his Levi jean's pocket and he was ready. So we went to the shelter and the first area that we came to was fenced off, and there were nine little puppies in there. They were all siblings, three months old, precious, they named them all starting with R. So there was Ruby, Roxy, Ronaldo, and then Rudy was in the mix. And so Logan went in and was just playing with the puppies, but Rudy just was right there by his side the whole time. He didn't bark, not one time he was just connecting with Logan.

(12:28):

It was just natural chemistry and Logan felt the same way. So I had told Logan before we went, I said, we're just going to look same as last word. Right. Well, Rudy found his home, came home with us, and we had an amazing 15 years with him. He was perfect in every way. I couldn't have asked for a better dog. And Logan, as he's growing up, he's asking every so often he would say, mom, do you think that Rudy, you'll live until I go to college? And I said, well, we're going to do everything we can to do that to get him to that point. And lo and behold, he finished out elementary school with Logan, junior High, high school and then college, all of it. And so yeah, it was amazing. And they were best buddies and I worked from home, and so I was with Rudy all the time.

(13:16):

He was like my little sidekick. And so you have your routines, you get used to them being there. And so when we suddenly lost him, it was really quick when it happened, it just really threw me for a loop. And so I didn't really know what to expect as far as what the grieving process was. I had never gone through that. So I just started doing research, trying to figure out ways to help myself to kind of move through the process, reading blogs, reading articles, anything that I could do. And I would just journal and make notes. I'm a writer, so that's what I do. And as I was going through, and of course I'm also a Christian, so I was praying for God to heal my heart and show me what to do, and I just felt like I'm writing this down anyway. I need to do this in Rudy's Honor and help other pet parents that are going through, there's millions of people going through this every day. And so that was really what catapulted me into doing this was I wanted to have awareness out there and let people know they're not alone and give them the tools they need to get to that place of healing.

Speaker 2 (14:22):

Yeah. It's interesting because obviously all of us pet parents have talked to other pet parents who are going through the grieving process, and in the book you talk about it being real grief, which we all know who've been there. We know that it's real grief, but why do you think it is that so many people feel they hesitate to grieve openly or they feel like they have to keep it inside? Why do you think that society still is kind of minimizing that type of grief?

Speaker 3 (14:50):

That is something that I still have a hard time wrapping my brain around because you see pets with people everywhere and you think, okay, why would people not really acknowledge that? And so I dug a little deeper and I found something really interesting, and you all may be aware of this, but I wasn't, but I had not no idea that society had actually, we actually have what we call a hierarchy of death. Have y'all heard about that?

Speaker 2 (15:14):

I don't think so. No.

Speaker 3 (15:15):

A hierarchy of death? Well, basically it puts levels of what your grief levels should be based on the type of death. The number one top of the hierarchy is the loss of a child, and at the very, very bottom is the loss of a pet. So that right there will just kind of shows you where they think. And one thing, I was listening to one of your podcasts recently, I think it was back a couple of months ago, and it was Dr. Andy Rourke from K Shame and Fascinating. If your listeners haven't heard that, they need to go back and find that. It was a brilliant interview, but there was something he said that really resonated with me, and he was talking about vets that work in emergency hospitals and that they may have 10 emergencies in one night, but when a family comes in, they have their one emergency, they don't know about his other nine emergencies.

(16:12):

They're the laser focused on what can you do for me? This is my one emergency. And it kind of goes along with people who outside the realm, let's say it's just one, for instance, it's just one dog. You can get another dog. It's not the end of the world, but to that person that lost their dog, that dog may have been their world. And so it's sad that there's not the rituals that I think the rituals sometimes may help that we have for humans in place and kind of do things like that for our pets. But yeah, unfortunately there needs to be some real recognition in that because people do tend to withhold and not really, they're not very forthcoming with their grief or because they feel ashamed or guilty or fill alone.

Speaker 1 (17:01):

And I'm happy you mentioned the emergency vets there because you're donating the proceeds of this book to nonprofits that help family with those big emergency veterinary bills. Can you talk a little bit about some of the organizations that you're working with and maybe how they're helping some of these families?

Speaker 3 (17:22):

Absolutely, yes. That was something that was huge for me because when I was trying to make decisions for Rudy, I was trying to be, I was his only advocate. I had to make the decisions for him. And so I did a lot of research with and information from the vets, from the oncologist, the best route to go. And when I got the decision, they told me that the best route was surgery, that they felt like he would come through and have a long life after that, or at least up to his, whatever his normal life expectancy would be. And so of course, there's the financial aspect of that as well, and it's tough. It really is. It's difficult. And so when I first got the news that he was going to have to have the surgery and I got the estimate of what the bill was going to be, I immediately came home, pulled out my computer and just started writing down places to call and filling out applications.

(18:11):

And the two that helped me was the mo b foundation, and they're based out of Virginia, and then Murray's Fund, which is based out of where I live, and Matthews, they actually were the oncologist office. And so those are the ones that, and I'm open to doing more once I kind of vet some other ones. But these, I know that these people intimately and got to have good relationships with them, so I know their work and what they do. So I felt like because they relieved a stress for me that I could then focus on Rudy and his wellbeing and I didn't have to worry about the financial part of it because of their generosity and the generosity of people who donate. And so I want to be able to do that for other people and kind of relieve them from that level of anxiety and stress so that they can get the care that they need for their animal and hopefully bring them back to help.

Speaker 2 (19:04):

Help. Yeah. Well, Renee, there's a national Grief Awareness Day coming up. I'm not sure the date what it is. I know it's coming up soon, but how would you recommend that friends or family support somebody that's going through the loss of a pet right now?

Speaker 3 (19:20):

I would say pick up the phone and give them a call, because honestly, the warmth of the human voice, even if you just call and say, I'm just checking in on you, I just want you to know I'm thinking about you. That is tremendous for somebody that's going through that and just letting them know that you're there for them. If you need to talk, if you want to go for a walk, I'm here for you. I understand what you're going through. Just giving them that reassurance and let them know that they're seen and they're heard, because that goes a long way. Just a simple phone call.

Speaker 1 (19:52):

Yeah. Well, Renee, we're coming up at the end of our time here. Can you let our wonderful viewers and listeners know where they could find your book or find you on social anywhere where they could follow your story?

Speaker 3 (20:04):

Absolutely. You can go to unleash your grief.com. That is my website, and you can get the book there. You can also learn about the foundation, so more about me and more about Rudy. And you can also find it on amazon.com. And I'm also on Instagram unleash your grief.com. I'm just getting that started, so I would love for people to come and show their support.

Speaker 1 (20:23):

There you go. Fantastic. Let's give Renee here a follow and pick up the book, especially if you're, I'm fortunate that I work in the pet industry. I'm surrounded by people who understand what the loss meant to me. But if you're somebody who may be in a different type of culture where there's not a lot of understanding, a book like Renee's could be really helpful and help you move on and honor your pet. So be sure to check out the book if you feel like you need it. Otherwise, check out Renee on socials and Renee, I'm sure we'll be having you back at some point.

Speaker 2 (20:58):

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Great. Thanks, Renee. Yeah, I was going to add one thing to what Renee was recommending, but it really helps the person who's lost the pet to talk about their pet or to be asked about their pet or I would always love it when people would tell me that, Hey, I remember the time that Buck did this or Buck did that, and that always really lifted my spirits.

Speaker 1 (21:23):

And I would say the reverse is true too. If you've lost your pet, talk about it. There's no shame in just wanting to reminisce and tell stories and honor your pet that way so you don't have to go through it alone If you feel like you don't have that kind of support system, probably time to find some new friends is what I'll say. My friends have been incredible through all this. My coworkers have been amazing, so I count those blessings every single day. But yeah, it's not something that you have to go through alone, so be an open book. It's going to help you out a lot.

Speaker 2 (22:03):

All right. I am excited to introduce Maggie Martin. She's an award-winning writer, pet industry expert, and a passionate dog advocate. She's the author of For The Love of Dog, the Ultimate Relationship Guide for You and Your Dog. It's a modern science backed and deeply personal book that explores what it really means to be in relationships with your dog, with over a decade of experience writing about pets, including the founder of the popular Oh, my dog blog. Maggie's work focuses on strengthening the human animal bond through empathy, communication, and everyday connection. And I haven't seen Maggie for probably almost 10 years, so I'm super excited to see you.

Speaker 4 (22:44):

I know, I'm so excited to see you.

Speaker 2 (22:47):

So why don't we just kick it off with talking about what inspired you to write for the love of dog and how is it different from other books like this?

Speaker 4 (22:58):

It is so nice to see you again, and thank you so much for that really kind introduction. I think the important thing for the Love of Dog is that I really wanted it to be different from any of the other prescriptive nonfiction dog books that are out there, but I also did not want to write a Marley and me style dog memoir. So when I started brainstorming this project, I thought, how can I combine the two? And that's what I ended up doing. So it's science meets story, it's all the heartwarming, hilarious stories about my dogs woven together with the science about how dogs think and why they do the things we do.

Speaker 1 (23:44):

Yeah, absolutely. And I love the term you use building a relationship with your dog instead of just training them. What does that shift in mindset look like? Can you compare it to some of those more prescriptive books that you were referencing?

Speaker 4 (24:02):

Yes, and I think one of the big distinctions in dog training now versus dog training historically is that we look at our dogs as partners, not necessarily as little creatures that need to obey and be obedient, but rather they are family members. And I think it's really important to keep that conversation going because I don't think everyone is there yet. I think there's certainly been huge strides in dog training, but I think if we think of it as a relationship, a partnership instead of a I'm the boss and you're going to do the things I tell you to do when I tell you to do them. We have just a stronger bond and our dogs trust us and we can have that connection that we don't really have with any other animals.

Speaker 2 (24:53):

Yeah, that's so true. Can you share an example from the book about where you tie a personal story and the science together?

Speaker 4 (25:02):

Sure. Research is kind of my favorite thing, so I have tons. But I think one of the things that I learned that was new to me in this research and that I started noticing with my own dogs was this concept of gaze, of shared gaze. And so humans and dogs look each other in the eyes and other animals don't do that, and certainly not other species with humans. So it's a profoundly unique thing that we have with our dogs. And even there's a 2015 study that showed that looking at our dogs and our dogs looking at us in both species, it makes us happier. They measured spit of dogs and people as they were looking at each other and they saw an increase in oxytocin, which is the happy hormone. So we are literally evolutionarily designed to make our dogs happier and for them to make us happier. I mean, how cool is that? That's

Speaker 1 (26:01):

Awesome. That's the science folks.

Speaker 4 (26:04):

It's science. You hang out with your dogs and you realize that they make eye contact with you all the time, and you're always looking at your dogs and they want to see what you're doing and then you smile and you reach out and you pet them and they're tail wags. And so it's like we're just designed by evolution to be best friends.

Speaker 1 (26:19):

Yeah, you've got that hormone oxytocin to thank for that warm fuzzy feeling in your belly when you're hanging out with your dog. To go to the opposite end of the spectrum here, you also talk about conflict with your dogs in the book, which is a difficult topic, something people like to pretend doesn't happen. But why is it important to acknowledge some of those harder moments when building a relationship with your dog?

Speaker 4 (26:45):

That's a really good question. I think there are two pieces of that. The first is that we've fallen into this trap, I will say, of romanticizing rescue, of holding up this ideal of you have saved this dog and this dog has come into your life and you have this incredible partnership right off the bat. But that's not always the case. And sometimes dogs can be kind of jerky, especially when they come out of a shelter and they don't know what's going on and they're maybe scared. And I have the gift of being the person to challenging dogs. I just get dogs. I have never once had a dog that didn't have a challenge of some sort. And I think when you read dog books that make it seem like if you take steps one through 10, your dog will be behaving like this and you'll be able to walk in public and it will be fine.

(27:40):

And then when your dog, you kind of can feel like you failed a little bit. And that is not the case at all, and I think it's really important. So the second piece of that is just to remember that it's not going to go smoothly. We are two different species and to give yourself grace, as long as you're trying your best and you're not doing any harm to your dog and you're working together to come to a resolution of whatever it is, even if it's that your dog can't really walk out in public, it's okay. It does not mean that you as the pet parent or a failure or anything.

Speaker 2 (28:16):

I'm so glad that you brought that up. And I like the way you characterize it as romanticizing rescue because I think for those of us who have rescued and ended up with ultimately great dogs and no regrets, but having to deal with some challenges, I think that it is important that we help set expectations around rescue. And your book also dives into canine cognition and emotional intelligence. So what are some of the things that pet parents should understand about how dogs think and feel, whether it's just about your current dog or about going into an adoption or a rescue situation?

Speaker 4 (28:57):

I think the biggest thing is that we need to remember that dogs are not fuzzy people and there are dogs everywhere. You can't go through a day in life without seeing dogs even if you don't have them. And I think we humans have sort of taken it for granted that dogs are just part of the human system. And the reality is dogs are a different species. And so the things that we, humans don't care for jumping into faces or eating garbage or my dog, Emmett could find a chicken bone anywhere in the city. He was summoning them.

(29:38):

He was probably like, this is the greatest day I found a chicken moan under a bench. Those are things that we humans can get too frustrated with. We don't extend the patience to our dogs to say, I think the example that I love is walking on the sidewalk. How boring is that to a dog? It is a straight path of scratchy concrete that doesn't feel good on their pads when on either side there's bushes, there's mailboxes and lampposts and all this stuff that they want to pull us to and we're like, don't pull. Well, the reality is in order to have that bond, we have to meet dogs where they are and teach them manners and teach them safety and take care of all of those important pieces, but also not forget that they're dogs and not people who be acting like little fuzzy people.

Speaker 1 (30:33):

Yeah. I want to piggyback off that a bit because one of the other things, something I really associate with people that you mentioned in this book is the concept of consent. And I'm really curious because I'm struggling to wrap my head around it, on what consent looks like in practice with dogs, especially for maybe difficult situations like going to the vet, going to the groomer, these things that we as humans feel like need to be done, but a dog won't be able to understand, I have to go to the vet. All they can think of is the vet puts a thermometer in my butt and I don't like that. So playing your concept a little bit to us please.

Speaker 4 (31:16):

Well, one of, just to emphasize the point that I'm not a trainer, I am just someone who is obsessed with animal behavior and I spend all my time reading about and researching animal behavior. There are a lot of places we can extend choice to our dogs. There are a lot of places we can't. If your dog is sick and needs to go to the vet, you as the human have to make that judgment call and you have to hold them while they get their thermometer. But even with those have to dos, there are ways to soften it a little bit and make it a little bit easier for your dog. I think about for myself, I don't like going to the dentist. I just don't like it. It's very uncomfortable. I feel so awkward with someone's hands in my mouth, but when my dentist can talk me through every step and say, the next thing I'm going to do is use this tool and I'm going to do, and so it's the same concept of extending that respect to our dogs, like showing them the clippers.

(32:18):

And if they flip out, that's okay, we're just not going to clip anything today. And it might take longer and you have to be a little more patient. But letting them have choice, even building the trust with something as simple as letting them pick which direction you go on your walk allows them to be empowered, let them follow their nose, give them the chance instead of saying, no, we're going this way, way. I need to get my steps in. We have to go this way. Well, your dog, I was doing a dog training class. I have a puppy now who is challenging and he is very hesitant about certain kinds of touch. And so the trainer is having us work with a wash washcloth instead of our hands because just that little separation between my actual fingers and her skin is helping her feel more comfortable. So we're able to take the washcloth and rub it on her shoulder, and as we practice drop the washcloth, use our hands. So kind of build up the trust, not force.

Speaker 2 (33:18):

This next question, you started to answer it already, but what's something that we can do as a daily habit or practice with our dog that can instantly improve our relationship with our dog?

Speaker 4 (33:32):

I used to think it was a daily walk, and I would have said walking, and I think a lot of people do say walking, take your dog for a walk, spend that time bonding and getting exercise. But I have noticed, and you guys have probably noticed this too, that people, when they're out walking, they're looking at their phone or they're listening to an audio book or they're yanking their dog away from a sniff spot. And so I think walking has become too much of a distraction and there's too much distance between one side of the leash and the other of what you and your dog want. So I think the answer now, and what I've been striving to practice with my dogs is just five minutes of play of doing something that they like to do without my phone, without the TV on, without music playing, that I'm just one-on-one focused on this, whether it's tug or throwing a ball or for a senior dog, even if it's just a scratch on the couch and you just kind of cuddle up with them where they're comfortable, just five minutes. If you have more than that, great. If you only have five distraction free attention doing undivided adoption,

Speaker 1 (34:42):

I don't think I could give anything my undivided attention. That's a personal issue. That's

Speaker 4 (34:46):

Problem, not you. I think it's everybody. You look around and everybody is so distracted. And I think when you do pay really close attention, you can see the things that make your dog uncomfortable. You can see the things that make them happy, and then you can do more of the happy things and less of the uncomfortable things.

Speaker 2 (35:03):

Yeah, keep it simple. Keep it simple. Well, Maggie, we're running up on time here, so can you tell everybody where we can find your book for the love of dog?

Speaker 4 (35:13):

Sure. It is available wherever you prefer to buy books. I definitely encourage you to go into your local bookseller and ask them to order it for you if they don't have it, but online anywhere you like to buy your books.

Speaker 2 (35:25):

Excellent. And where can we follow you and find out what you're up to next?

Speaker 4 (35:29):

I think the best place is probably Instagram. I'm really starting to love this platform and it's just Maggie Martin on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (35:36):

Okay. Maggie Martin. Maggie Martin. Well, Maggie Martin, it was so good to reconnect with you and I can't wait to read the book. And thanks so much for joining us today.

Speaker 4 (35:44):

Thank you so much for having me. This

Speaker 2 (35:45):

Was really fun. Now that is, we have a lot of authors on this show, and I would like to say I read all the books, but I don't. But this is definitely one I want to check out because I know Maggie does her research and I'm sure there's lots of great takeaways.

Speaker 1 (36:04):

Yes. In our little chitchat before and after. She gave us more details on her history of difficult dogs, and let's just say that woman has been through it. So if you're going to take some advice, you're going to want to take it from someone who's went through all that a hundred percent. She really does know her stuff. The product of the week, it's time for the product of the week. And I'm laughing because we were being silly before we cut in. We have fun on this show, folks, and we've got some great products for you, and I am going to kick it off, do it. I was looking for some stuff for y'all, and I decided to turn to Oprah as we all do when we are in need.

Speaker 2 (37:00):

This is one of Oprah's favorite things.

Speaker 1 (37:02):

This is one of Oprah's favorite things, and it is one of those things where I had to see if it existed because my wife was using dry shampoo, and I was like, that's so easy. You're not that dirty and you want to touch up your hair. You want to make it nice, you're going to do your hair. You don't want to wet it, and stuff like that. What a nice product for people. Does that exist for dogs? And if not, can I make it and become a millionaire and never have to do this podcast again? Well, it does exist, unfortunately, for me, it does exist, and it's from Pride and Groom. They call it the main tame. And I mean, it's exactly what you think it is. It is a gentle hypoallergenic shampoo that cleans hydrates and refreshes coats without harsh chemicals. Especially great if your pet just managed to get themselves a little tangled.

(37:50):

Now you're going to want to give 'em a bathroom shampoo if they've been rolling around in the mud all day. But if you have, let's say, a very urban dog who's mostly going on sidewalk walks to use the bathroom, and maybe they're older and don't really play around so much, and they just sort of got tassels on the bottom of their belly, all matted, you spray some of this in and you could just comb it out, likely much easier than doing the full bathroom. So I think it's a great little product, MSRP at $38, right on the website, it'll be in the show notes as always. So check it out if you want a grooming solution,

Speaker 2 (38:30):

Dry shampoo. I don't know how I lived without dry shampoo.

Speaker 1 (38:34):

You didn't start living until your first dry shampoo.

Speaker 2 (38:36):

That's right. That's right. And I love that. I'm going to try that for Tulip because in between Bathtime, she's not necessarily dirty, but sometimes she just has a little outside smell.

Speaker 1 (38:49):

So

Speaker 2 (38:49):

Little dry shampoo, freshen up the coat, freshen upper the ur. Okay, so my product of the week today is it's a dog backpack carrier. And this one really cool because, well, first of all, I found out about it because this girl that I work with, Erica, she lives in New York City and she has an adorable little dog named Cobweb.

Speaker 1 (39:15):

I love cobweb.

Speaker 2 (39:16):

I saw this picture of her with a backpack with little cobweb in the back, and I asked her about it, and she loves it. She says she takes cobweb everywhere with it, but it was actually recommended to her by Cobweb's physical therapist at the veterinary office. And the reason it was recommended is because some of these backpack carriers are not, the base of them isn't big enough for the dog to kind of curl up and lay down when they want to. So this one's got a little bit of a wider base so that your dog can comfortably sit up or lie down. And that's important, especially if you're going to be gone for quite some time. And there's also, I noticed some people wear those, what do they call Baby Bjorn kind of carriers that, I guess they're kind of using the concept for babies, but for dogs where the dogs are in there like a human with their legs sticking out. And that's actually not a good posture for a dog to be curated around in. So yeah, it's made by, I'm sure it's a Chinese company, W-O-Y-Y-H-O. So Wyo is the brand. I've put a link in the show notes if you want to check it out. It's only 25 bucks and it is for dogs that are probably 18 pounds or less. So check that out.

Speaker 1 (40:37):

I was a very New York City pitch dog named Cobweb in a backpack. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (40:44):

Has

Speaker 1 (40:44):

A physical therapist. It's very New York City q and as. Alright, folks, it's time for our favorite part of the show. That's right. We're going to answer two questions from our lovely audience at home. And I know what you're thinking. How do I have my question answered by Chris and Kristen? Well, it's quite easy. Head on over to pets at life.org/podcast. Scroll on down to the bottom of that page and you'll see a form to submit your question. Or if you're feeling as brave as new father Chris, you can submit a voice memo and you may hear your question played live on these airwaves. So without further ado, we've got some questions here from our audience. And I think, Chris, you got one for me?

Speaker 2 (41:37):

I sure do. This question comes from Carlos in Austin. Thanks for the question, Carlos. Alright, he says, I just adopted my first cat from a shelter and I want to make sure I start off, what should I know about litter training and understanding her behavior cues?

Speaker 1 (41:54):

Yeah, that is a great question. I think a lot of people discount the concept of litter training and a lot of cats, they pick it up quickly. So if you're adopting even a kitten, they may already be litter trained by the time you get them, but that's not always the case. So number one, you got to show 'em where the box is early and often as soon as they wake up, put them in it. Cats, the reason cat litter works is cats have a natural inclination and instinct to cover their waist. So they're going to look for something that's soft. Your floor is not soft, they can't cover it there. They're going to want to use the litter. But what you could do if you have a new kitten is sort of set 'em up with their own personal space. You don't want to give them free reign of your house or apartment yet.

(42:47):

So think like playpen from the rugrats, right? Give them a pen, throw in the litter box. And on the other side, because cats also don't like to use the bathroom near where their food and water is, put their food and water one side, the litter box on the other side, and when they wake up first thing, put 'em in the box, give them a treat. If they use it properly, you don't have to worry. And we're not negative reinforcers on this show, so don't feel like you have to punish or discipline your kitten. If they mess up, just clean it up and next time move them over to the box. Keep a good eye on them. They require a lot of supervision anyway. If that cat is posturing to pee poop, pick 'em up, put 'em in the box. And honestly, before you know it, they're going to pick up on it. With the treating everything being in the vicinity and their natural instincts, they'll be good to go. In no time, I find it easier to litter, train a kitten than it is to house train a puppy for sure. Oh yeah, way easier. I've got a question from Janelle. I believe I'm pronouncing that correctly. Janelle from Columbus, Ohio, and they ask, what's the actual process for registering a dog as a service animal? And how can you tell if your dog is a good candidate for that kind of role?

Speaker 2 (44:07):

That's a very good question. First of all, let's talk about the difference between the definition of a service animal as opposed to an emotional support animal or a therapy animal. A service animal is a dog, usually a dog that is trained to perform specific tasks for somebody that has a disability, like a guide dog for the blind, or maybe alerting someone who has epilepsy. Those service animals are protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act, so they can have public access to public places, restaurants, things like that. Now, emotional support, animals are animals that they basically just offer comfort through their presence. So they're not trained to perform a special task and they are not protected under the a DA act. And then of course, therapy dogs are trained to provide comfort in settings like hospitals or schools, but they're not serving a particular individual. So if you're talking specifically Janelle about a service animal, you or someone in your family must have a disability, a documented physical or mental disability. And if that is the case, then the dog has to be individually trained to do work, to perform whatever tasks would assist you or that person in your family with their disability. So again, alerting for seizure, retrieving objects, if the person has mobility issues, things like that. And you don't actually have to register a service animal. There's no official registration, but they do have to be trained by a professional to meet the needs of that person.

(46:05):

Yeah, and I guess as far as how to know if your dog has a temperament for that, they obviously want a dog that's calm, trainable, confident, not easily startled, and that responds well to commands, obviously, and as physically fit, that doesn't have their own limitations. That might limit how they could help the disabled person. So I hope that helps. I know people use service animal as an umbrella term for a lot of different other types of animals that help people. So I just wanted to kind of clarify those definitions.

Speaker 1 (46:41):

That is some great information. I don't think that my family's dog would make it as a service dog. She's just head in the clouds. Absolutely. Head in the clouds. Maybe a therapy dog though, because she is very, she's very gentle. But yes, the rigors for being a service dog are much, much higher. Alright, well that brings us to the end of our show. How about that? Oh man, it goes so fast. It does. But it was good to have the gang back together, the Dynamic duo, the terrific trio. If you include Ron, the whole gang here, bring you episodes every single Tuesday. Catch us on video, on YouTube and dog tv. Catch us on our social media for all sorts of fun little clips, important announcements and things like that. Don't forget to like, subscribe and share the show with an animal lover or an animal hater, and turn 'em into an animal lover. We will see you all next week. Pets, add Life, your guide to the latest in Pet Trends products, and the joy of the Human Animal Bond with Kristen Levine and Chris Bon, powered by the American Pet Products Association and Dog tv.